Diagnosis, uncertainty, and a 93-year-old woman’s extraordinary courage.
It reflects the emotional, medical, and personal realities families face when cancer enters their lives.
Hearing the word “cancer” often brings with it an immediate weight of grief, fear, and loss. Some see it as a curse that steals away the people we love. But what if, in the midst of this devastating news, I told you there was a hidden blessing? Before you dismiss me as cold-hearted, let me share my story.
The year was 2021. The world was in the grip of a global pandemic, and my grandmother, who had always been the heart and soul of our family, began to feel unwell. She often felt exhausted and lethargic. After a visit to the specialist, we learned that her red blood count was dangerously low and she would need a blood transfusion. She improved for a few months before the fatigue and low blood count returned. After more tests and a scope were done, we received news that a cancerous tumour was found on her ascending colon. The doctor explained that, based on the tumour size, without surgery, she had only three months to live. In that moment, the world felt like it was falling apart. I couldn’t sleep that night, and I couldn’t eat. All I could think about was the thought of a world without my grandmother, and the suffering that she will endure in her final days without surgery.
At the time of diagnosis, my grandmother was 93 years old. We went to several surgeons for consults, but they dismissed surgically removing the cancerous area due to her age. But then we met with a team of colorectal surgeons led by Dr Mohan from Hospital Kuala Lumpur, who saw things differently. They believed that age should not be a determining factor and gave her the option of surgery. She decided to proceed with the procedure, scheduling it for December 2021, five months after diagnosis. When there is life, there is always death. More often than not, death leaves behind loved ones carrying grief and sorrow that is heavier than death itself. Looking back, I realise now that my grandmother’s decision wasn’t just for herself. It was for us. She knew the risks and uncertainty of the surgery but chose to give herself a chance. More importantly, she decided to provide us with time. Time to care for her, time to say things we never have a chance to speak. When the time comes to leave the world, she has done all she can to lessen the grief and sorrow of her loved ones. Her final act of selfless love.
My grandmother’s 2.5-hour surgery went well, and she now has a permanent double-barreled stoma on the right side of her abdomen. She was discharged after 3 days in the hospital. As it was during the COVID season, no visitation was allowed, nor was anybody allowed to accompany my grandmother in the hospital. I could imagine how frightening it was not having anybody to accompany her during the pre-surgery and post-surgery. After the surgery, my grandmother had no appetite to eat or drink. The nurses, busy with their regular duties, did not have the time or patience to coax her to drink her meal replacement milk. The younger patients in the ward, who looked up to her like their own mother, regardless of race, kept encouraging her to drink, but she only managed a little. On the second day after surgery, the output from the stoma started to appear, and the doctor requested that preparations be made for discharge. I was called in for a crash course on stoma care and how to change the bag. Honestly, after just a single lesson, I did not feel confident about replacing the wafer or cleaning a one-piece bag. The nurse assured me that a stoma nurse from Coloplast would visit us after discharge, so she told me not to worry.
(Part 2 Coming Soon…)